Today’s rumours live in the hope that some clubs may, just may, be interested in signing somebody!

With DEADLINE DAY fast approaching, the nation begins to engage itself in the customary tittle, tattle and babble January brings. The Sun, never adverse to a spot of waffle, claims Portuguese defender/liability Jose Bosingwa is in the middle of a two way battle between Roma and Juventus .

With the Old Lady sitting one point clear at the top of Serie A, Bosingwa seems the perfect man to instigate a mid season collapse and a Europa League finish.

If you believe everything website footybunker tells you, then you’ll be looking forward to seeing Edison Cavani plying his trade for Liverpool . It’s a bold move by Dalglish, considering he could just wait a hundred thousand years for Andy Carroll to evolve into a similar player, but modern football does demand instant success I suppose. If you’re wondering whether Cavani would relish swapping Hamsik for Henderson and Lavezzi for Downing, you’re probably insane.

According to talkSPORT, reports in Spain suggest Chelsea haven’t given up hope of signing Dutch fullback Gregory van der Wiel . Quite why the Spanish media are getting involved in this is anyone’s guess, but the 23 year old Dutchman would be a like for like replacement for Bosingwa, who as previously mentioned is definitely definitely no doubt about it going to Italy.

In a move that would shock, delight, disappoint, perplex and derail just about every football fan on the planet, The Sunderland Echo reports Sunderland want Bolton’s Kevin Davies. Owen Coyle’s 34 year old target man is out of contract in the summer, and it seems Martin O’Neill has already found the bottom of the barrel in his search for a new striker .

The thought of the England international (really?) lining up alongside Europe’s lanky golden boy Nikolas Bendtner is bound to have Mackem fans drooling, after a relentless hour of banging their heads against the nearest wall.

Whilst any old tin pot rumour replenishes the soul and makes January seem almost necessary, the real life done deals represent an irritating distraction from the hullaballoo of the market. However The Sun again manages to darken our day, squeezing blood from the stone that is Jason Roberts transfer from Blackburn to Reading in stating the striker “Ends Rovers Hell”.

But they don’t just stop at the gory details of Roberts hellish career at Rovers, in which he was forced to play football badly for a large sum of money every bloody week, they also get maverick chairman John Madejski’s take on things; “I am delighted a man of Jason Roberts’ calibre has decided to sign for Reading” . Madejski has since been sectioned.

Finally the Birmingham Mail reports Liverpool signed Stewart Downing last summer – on the basis of a fake online video  . The YouTube clip features Downing, who has yet to impress this season due to a chronic lack of talent, chipping five footballs into distant wheelie bins.

The accuracy enticed American Chairmen John Henry and Tom Werner so much they actually began to believe the mad ramblings of Kenny Dalglish, who was in search of his third consecutive big money transfer farce. Liverpool fans know all about Downing’s pin point left foot, the winger managing to hit row Z with every attempted cross this season.

With the edited viral proving successful in an attempt to boost Villa’s season ticket sales, plans are already in place to show Alex McLeish attempt to hug an Alaskan Grizzly Bear for the 2012-13 season. .

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