John Carver may have been full of confidence, but he was absolutely rubbish at his job.
The Premier League is one of the most entertaining competitions in the world for good reason. Fans are spoiled all year round the most incredible events occurring both on and off the pitch; special goals, remarkable comebacks and dominant footballing displays, juicy moments of gossip, and iconic manager moments. We’ll never forget the day Jose Mourinho announced himself on the big stage as the Special One. It was a moment fitting of the man himself; arrogant, entertaining, humorous and sincere. He was a truly incredible talent. Unfortunately, we cannot say the same for the horrifying episode John Carver, former assistant to Alan Pardew, declared that he – big, useless, inept John Carver – was the ‘best coach in the Premier League’ (as per BBC Sport).
Newcastle United were hurting after losing Alan Pardew to Crystal Palace without warning. Not because he was a particularly good manager, but because they were lumbered with the strategically inept John Carver, whose awkward tactics resembled the kind you see play out in fixture between teams like The Dandy Cock and The Bulls Head on a Sunday morning.
“Having explored at some length the options available to us, the decision has been taken to defer the appointment of a permanent head coach until the end of the season,” read a club statement (via Newcastle United’s official site). Which roughly translates to: we’re very sorry, we literally couldn’t find anyone else to fill the spot.
In the four games leading up to his appointment as long-term-interim-temporary-boss-thing Carver managed a 3-3 draw to Burnley before losing to 1-0 at Leicester in the FA Cup third round. He continued this tremendous run into a 2-0 defeat against Chelsea and a 2-1 home embarrassment to Southampton.
Things hardly improved either. Newcastle went on to lose ten games, including a 5-0 drubbing at the hands of Manchester City, draw three and win two. Carver managed his last game at the end of May saving Newcastle in truly dramatic style before, presumably, being politely asked to never return. At least he did something right, though.
Carver took up the role at Cypriot side Omonia Nicosia in 2016 just one year after leaving St James’ Park, and though things actually started relatively well for him, they soon soured.
The Englishman was dumped before the end of the season with the board apparently unhappy falling 12 points behind rivals Apoel (as per Chronicle Live).
He was most recently released from his assistant manager role at West Bromwich Albion. Not a good manager. At all.
Newcastle United fans, how dark were the John Carver days? Join the discussion by commenting below…