Premier League

10 Nailed On Reasons Why Spurs Fans Should Just Jack It In

We don’t mean supporting, rather the torture that is… Transfer Watching.

With time to buy players running out fast and very little progress made so far, Tottenham Hotspur have it all to do. This is familiar territory for Spurs fans.

So what can we expect? What are the recurring patterns of a Tottenham Hotspur transfer window? Will Robbie Keane go to his childhood dream club and then somehow find his way back, wandering down the M1 like a dog tracking down its owner. Somehow springing back into the squad. He is becoming the world’s most expensive yo-yo, impossible to get off your finger.

Will Harry Redknapp continue to buy time by choosing from his select list of stock answers.

a) Well yeah he’s a ‘triffic lad and of course I’d be interested in him.

b) Well, it’s very difficult to know I mean there’s a lot of clubs in for him

c) that’s up to the chairman

d) a combination of all three. ‘Well he’s a triffic lad and of course I’d be interested in him, but It’s difficult because there’s a lot of clubs in for him so I have to leave that up to the chairman, it’s up to the chairman.’

Spurs have held their cards very close to their chest, if they actually have any cards at all and are not just waiting it out and hoping the fans don’t notice. There are no certainties. But here’s what to expect.

Procrastination This may seem obvious but we can always expect more waiting, with the need to sell before we can buy and some very optimistic price-tags, particularly Kranjcar at £10 million, we can look forward to the Levy school of bargaining taking our transfers right up to the last minute yet again.

A striker. The rumours keep pouring in, Adebayor, Vucinic, Rossi, if there is one thing Spurs are chasing this year it’s a front man, and with promises made to impress Modric with the club’s ambitions, this is one player that Tottenham really need.

Jermaine Jenas still at Spurs next season. Jenas has a remarkable ability to go missing in games and he has also cunningly extended this to transfer windows. Even though he sits at the bottom of the central midfield pecking order, the chances are he will hide out using his special invisibility skills and turn up again next year, ready to contribute very little.

Missing out on a player due to wage demands This seems a certainty. The rigid wage structure is becoming increasingly restrictive to the club’s ambitions. This allowed us to miss out on Joe Cole fortunately but is also seriously shortening our list of world class striking options.

Harry Redknapp quotes. The above selection of quotes will be heard in any order at least twice a week until we actually sign someone. Then it’ll just be ‘he’s a ‘triffic lad.’

Another Luka Modric bid. Despite Levy’s stance, the press are still convinced that he has a price and Chelsea are expected to launch at least one more bid of £30 million to tempt the resolve of the iron willed chairman.

Robbie Keane still at Tottenham. Despite Levy’s best efforts to tie West Ham into buying Keane, the boomerang landed back in the Lodge this summer. God knows what Liverpool did to him in his brief spell there but a recovery seems impossible, nonetheless, he seems as difficult to shift as chewing gum in the carpet.

One surprisingly good sale Levy’s nemesis is financial loss, this makes the sale of David Bentley basically impossible, however, the man fights tooth and claw for a deal and the chances are he will negotiate a respectable return on someone like Alan Hutton or Kranjcar.

A defensive crisis Spurs love a shortage in defence and playing people out of position. Somehow we’ll contrive to lose our left backs, Assou-Ekotto will choke on his gum and Gareth Bale will fall out of a tree and we’ll be forced into an emergency buy at great cost. I admit, this one’s tenuous!

A last minute buy Probably the result of a last minute sale. Last season Rafael Van Der Vaart was a real treat, let’s keep our fingers crossed that someone good comes on the market again, because the chances are Spurs will still be looking.

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