Manchester United

WAGtales

A busy week on WAG Street.

“Wayne chased me with sex texts and paid in wads of cash. He didn’t seem to care he was betraying Coleen.

‘Wayne certainly enjoyed all our meetings and didn’t seem to care what he was doing to his wife. I think he believes he is invincible and untouchable. As a woman, I wouldn’t want that done to me – especially if I was pregnant.’

How comforted Coleen must be by the knowledge that some young stinker who drops her draws for money wouldn’t want her husband paying for sex.

I was more shocked by the another relevation. He paid him £200 or something  ridiculous like that for a packet of Marlboro.

If the thought of a half cut Wazza being ‘pleasured’ some brass some Bolton nearly brought up your Sunday lunch, hold tight for the next installment here on ‘Broken Hearts’.

The Star reported that Abbey Clancy and Peter Crouch ‘smiled and looked intently at each other’ as they enjoyed a Michelin Star meal out together. A meal at which Brave Abbey wore her engagement ring.

Clancey and Crouch are supposedly even on the cheating front, although it is suspected only one of them had to pay for it.

Coleen however is painted as wholesome girl who has been been duped again. Will she stand by her man for the sake of their child? Or distinguish herself from air-brained characters like Clancey and kick the caveman into touch?

If you listen very, very quietly, you can hear the ghost of Emily Pankhurst p*ssing herself laughing.

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