He’s gone. Never to return. ‘We hate you so much because we loved you so much’ is a phrase reverberating amongst too many Newcastle United fans. Carroll said he didn’t him to go, Newcastle United Football Club said they didn’t want to go. Mike Ashley said,’ I’ll have a large one and another stack of poppadoms over here when you’re ready love.’
So what to do with your shirt with that name on it?
3 The Cheapskate
Famously manufactured in some of the finest child labour camps and sweatshops the Far East has ever seen, the modern day replica shirt is made from recycled landfill plastics such as soft drink bottles, old fishing nets and used pot noodle pots.
As a result they don’t stand up to an iron whacked up to maximum heat. Using hankie as a buffer and a pair of tweezers it should only take you about 4 or 5 hours to tease the offending letters off the shirt. Then you are all ready to get down to the Club Shop and get any remaining stubborn bits and melted holes concealed with the name of this week’s hero.
2. The Showboating Anarchist
This one is a pot luck attempt to secure your image in the history of Newcastle fans as the ultra of ultras. Die hard fans are ten a penny. But only the looniest of the loons are able to up the ante like you can.
To morph yourself into a character who would look more at home on the streets of Iraq all you need is a lighter and a camera crew. Get some willing mates to surround you and attract some attention. It’s vital the camera crew get their at the right time.
You prancing around for 20 minutes trying to light the shirt like an Indian brave who hasn’t got his ‘Campfire Badge’ isn’t good TV and they will leave you to it. On the other hand if they get there too late, the shirt’s gone up and your now wondering how you’ll deal with the molten ball now grafted round your paw, it’s not a camera crew you’ll need – it’s an ambulance.
1. Send it to Africa.
Football For Africa & Afrikit have are helping clothe kids in Uganda, Zimbabwe, Burkina Faso, Ethiopia, Romania, Cuba, Kenya and Malawi.
Afrikit has become an unexpected benefactor in the wake of last month’s transfer window. They’ve been receiving an unprecidented amount of donations from Liverpool and Newcastle fans looking to donate their old Torres and Carroll shirts. Andrew Trott said, “The support we’ve received has been unbelievable. I was looking on Twitter to find out information on the Torres situation when out of the blue I saw a tweet saying ‘don’t burn your Torres shirts, send them to Afrikit.co.uk’.
How To Donate HERE
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