Manchester United

5 Outlandish Last-Minute United Deals

Surely, surely not ...

Manchester United are a tricky side to report on when it comes to transfers. Football fans had seen a quiet summer from United, with the signings of Chris Smalling and Javier Hernández wrapped up several months ago.

United do not seem to have much spending money, and Sir Alex Ferguson has claimed that no more would be spent. That is, aside from a whopping £7.4million for a player whose experience doesn’t extend any further than a questionable goal-scoring record in the Portuguese third tier and the Homeless World Cup.

Another signing before the close of the transfer window today would surely be unlikely, outrageous perhaps, but given Fergie’s penchant for not being entirely truthful regarding such matters, it’s not impossible. So here’s a few my-mate’s-girlfriend’s-Dad’s-boss-is-best-mates-with-Fergie style rumours.

AC Milan striker Pato is staying at a hotel in Manchester, with a view to signing today. Plausibility rating: 1/5

Steve Bruce, frustrated with Lee Catermole’s disciplinary record, will let his captain hold talks with United. Plausibility rating: 3/5

Michael Carrick will be used as a makeweight in a deal to bring Jack Rodwell to Old Trafford. Plausibility rating: 4/5

Sergio Agüero is heading to Manchester today to sign for United. Plausibility rating: 2/5

Out-of-favour Real Madrid midfielder Rafael van der Vaart is lining up a move to United. Plausibility rating: 2/5

Realistically, I think it’s probably unlikely that United will be making any more signings. But it’s fun to pretend. Who would you like to see come in at Old Trafford today? Remember, the window closes at six, but you often get a few that are announced after the deadline.

Disclaimer: Plausibilty rating doesn’t reflect what I think will happen, so don’t slate me when Rodwell is still an Everton player tomorrow morning. I just think it’s more likely than Pato heading to OT.

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