Arsenal travel to White Hart Lane tomorrow evening and among their number is a man known simply as ‘Mad Jens’.
His last game for Arsenal was on May 4th, 2008. He retired from football sometime after but now claims that this was merely a cover story. ‘I am not able to discuss my work during my retirement. But I can tell you that without the Loyalist Wolfstein Guard this place you casually call Europe would have been beset by a plague of bears.’
Jens Lehmann celebrated his 52nd birthday yesterday in a private celebration at the Bishopsgate branch of Kentucky Fried Chicken with a small group of close friends including TV chef Ainsley Harriot and astrologer Russel Grant.
He’s A Tantric Sex Guru
He’s A Martial Arts Expert
A Ruthless Anti Litter Campaigner
He’s Always Hungry
He Has The Weakest Bladder In Europe