Arsenal

Know Your Enemy – Mark ‘The Syrup’ Clattenburg

Premier League referee Mark Clattenburg has become something of a joke within football. No it’s nothing to do with his Bear Grylls lookalike business. More so his hair and Gangsta behaviour.

The 34 year old from County Durham is supposedly one of the top referee’s in England and moved through the Football League ranks rather quickly. Having been certified a FIFA referee in 2006, Clattenburg has rose to prominence within the game. Yet apart from his occasional gaffes, of which there are a few. My favourite was the most clear cut penalty witnessed by man when Jaime Carragher assaulted and caused grievous bodily harm to Joleon Lescott in the Merseyside derby in 2007. He was banned for a week and has never since refereed an Everton game. He is a dead man round those parts. Clattenburg shocked football when he had a nine month suspension from the game over 2008/09 based on his Tony Soprano style way of doing business.

The flash referee was suspended in September 2008 after allegations that his electrician company was £175,000 in debt. Yes it’s hard to believe Mark Clattenburg was a Sparky. Imagine him coming round sorting you wires. He most certainly would miss you sockets. He did not disclose such information to the relevant bodies. Furthermore he allegedly threatened a business associate and his family in an email. I can picture it now, Clattenburg and his posse of line assistants running a Racketeering scam from the front of an Electrician shop. He successfully appealed against his sacking and took a nine month ban from the game.

During this time Mark Clattenburg seemingly watched Face/Off far too many times and took it upon himself to actually radically change appearance. He lost nearly two and half stone and magically grew hair where once there was none. No I’m not talking on his face like a pubescent child. The top of his head. Take a look at this photo evidence. It’s startling. Hair implants that make Shane Warne look like Alan Shearer.

Where the bloody hell has that come from???

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