Arsenal

Ashley Cole’s Babe Brochure

Ann Corbitt Mumsified Ann has spoken at length about her liaison with Cole. She comes across as a professional, mature woman.

The only slight question mark over her value system might be the bit where she met a stranger, got into a people carrier with him, had unprotected sex with several times and then told anyone who might listen all about it.

“All in all, the sex lasted three or four hours. I was very taken aback by how intimate he was and how needy he was.”

“Ashley took my clothes off and was incredibly attentive. He was a creative and adventurous lover. At the end he was satisfied and so was I. He was aiming to please, not just out to satisfy himself.”

“Ashley was small and slight like a little bird, but he was very polite and seemed fun.”

“Back in his suite he immediately lit up a cigarette and started chain-smoking. I was shocked that he was a sports star and smoking so heavily. There was an ashtray full of butts and the room was really messy and smoky.”

“I discovered he was married – and had cheated before,” she said. I couldn’t believe it. I was so stunned I was hyperventilating.”

Escapini’s verdictAh, women of a certain age. Bless ’em.

Aimee Watson

Aimee you minx. All the allure of a check out girl with an ASBO and a speech impediment.

“Ashley said he needed a drink and we went to the toilet to get some tissue to wipe sick off his arm.”

“We started having sex but it wasn’t long before he said he felt sick again. Then he just rolled over and vomited on the floor, all over the cream carpet. It was disgusting.”

“He had some mouthwash, then jumped back into bed…Eventually he finished and collapsed on to my chest. He was panting and clearly had a good time.”

Escapini’s verdict – Spill on Aisle 3


Sonia Wild

Sonia is the one Ashley allegedly was a sex text pest to. Images that landed on the mother of two’s mobile included one of Cole with his shirt off, and one with everything off in front of a mirror.

“If that wasn’t Ashley Cole, then I’m a nun. I’ve said all along that it was Ashley who was doing all the running, sending me pictures of himself, texting and phoning me.

“I’ve listened to Ashley’s softly-spoken voice in interviews on TV and it was ­unmistakably him.”

Escapini’s verdict – One of the most delicious old boilers I never want to meet

Vicki Gough

Vicki Gough is more of a mystery. Which is to say this alleged affair has not been fueled by Ms Gough appearing in the red tops wearing nothing but a multi-coloured shoe lace. It is said that she too was sent ‘lurid’ texts and was ‘smuggled’ into hotels for sex.

Escapini’s verdict – The mumsie thing continues. Corrie’s Liz MacDonald could be next…

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