Manchester City

Bellamy Speaks

The Nutter With The Putter

Craig Belamy has spoken for the umpteenth time about his whirlwind transfer from Manchester City to Cardiff City, exclusively to The Daily Mash.

Bellamy grunted, ‘It’s great to be back amongst people who won’t blink an eye when I get angry for no reason and blame everybody else for my fictional problems’.

‘I look forward to getting them in a drunken headlock and stressing how much I love them while punching them in the face over and over again.’

The striker will be officially unveiled to fans ahead of Saturday’s match against Doncaster …carried onto the pitch atop the shield of an ancient chieftan before eating a raw daffodil and screaming violent, groundless complaints into the face of an English tourist for eight minutes without repetition or vowels.

Cardiff manager, Dave Jones, said Bellamy would bring some local pride and unprovoked fury back to the team, adding: “vwvbu sffh wh fbfwyfnwd jbgyngf.”

The full interview is available HERE


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