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Bookie Swindler Morris’ Tweets Of The Week

Here are some of the strangest and daftest tweets from the world of football this week.

SIMONBIRDMIRROR – Sol Campbell can play until he is forty, according to his manager Chris Hughton.

Play what? Tiddlywinks?

JACQUIOATLEY- Went to bed listening to football and dreamt that Matthew Etherington and Rory Delap made sausages/gravy for Arsenal players. Can’t explain.

Neither can I.

JACQUIOATLEY – Also dreamt that Mick McCarthy was Stoke manager. Weirdness all round…

The most mundane dream ever?

JACQUIOATLEY – Derby County goalkeeper criticised for sex doll art.

I should think so.

JACQUIOATLEY – Good luck @markpougatch in Scunny press box. Did play-off there, came away with Peter Slater & Craig Hignett’s faces imprinted on my cheeks!

Filthy.

DANWALKERBBC – Just been asked for an autograph outside the Ajax Arena. Only problem… bloke thought I was Dutch pop star! Fail.

Dan Walker, journalist by day, Dutch crooner by night.

RIOFERDY5 – Looking to train 2day to be in contention 2mo. Holding u down by jazmine is my song for the day! Lauryn hill vibe.

Rio goes all Jools Holland.

MARCOTTI – Massimo Moratti on Mourinho: He feels like the wife whose husband sleeps with other women but still loves him. Can’t face the break up, so he escapes through the window.

What???

MARCOTTI – Buffon on Moreno: 6 Kilo’s of heroin? Not surprised, he probably was on drugs when he reffed us in 2002 as well.

Gianluigi Buffon isn’t a fan of Byron Moreno’s refereeing abilities.

NICKYBUTT – Happy Birthday Fat Ronaldo.

The ex United man sends out backhanded birthday wishes to the Brazilian.

Jacqui Oatley is a tweeting superstar, the stuff she comes out with. My favourite is Nicky Butt’s though, so simple, yet hilarious.

Follow me on Twitter – http://twitter.com/CraigMorris21

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