Chelsea Boss’ Animal Trafficking Past

A compelling, explosive story  emerging today is destined to shake the Premiership to it’s very core.

Last night Chelsea hosted Manchester United in a the Champions League quarter final. But while the nation was innocently enjoying a high tempo football match – a bittersweet tale of sorrow and deception was being revealed.

The allegation being made is that the man commonly known to Chelsea fans as Carlo Ancelotti is in actual fact an innocent victim of the trafficking of endangered species.

Sources claim that the man at the helm of Stamford Bridge is actually a female panda by the Carla.

The bear was originally snatched from it’s family at an early age by gypsies and sold on the illegal animal circuit in Italy. Initially the helpless animal endured a humiliating existence of street dancing and smoking cigarettes as a street entertainer.

But Carla had a remarkably high IQ and in a short space of time she had learned the language and escaped her owners and began to play football, first for fun but then she was soon scouted and found herself scouted and playing regularly for Roma.

Carla of course knew she was an illegal alien and had she dared to reveal her true identity then her new life as a sports star would be over. Carla’s career was a fairy tale, two Scudetti, two European cups, eventually a move to England and two doubles.

We have passed on this tale and the accompanying photo to the World Wildlife fund.

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