We as fans are all too keen to have our say on the foibles of modern footballers, moaning about their riches, their ignorance and their stupidity, but on the last point at least, we should be careful of pot-kettle syndrome. For all the cerebrally-limited footballers out their, there are plenty more fans. So it’s about time we turned the spotlight on the bizarre actions of football fans as we delve into the archives to unearth Football’s Craziest Fans.
Although this article is titled in a similar fashion to ITV’s utterly dreadful ‘Planet’s Funniest Animals’, fear not, Stephen ‘annoying’ Mulherne is not about to pop up with some utterly embarrassing clip of a dog opening a door. Anyway, let’s forget awful tele and get back on track with the Transfer Tavern’s list of Football’s Craziest Fans.
1. Deal With This
Apologies for the text across this video, but it’s worth putting up with that just to see the bizarre moves of this fanatical Egyptian. It’s unclear quite what his intentions are, but it appears that the big man is taunting opposition supporters out of shot – I’ve no idea what your reaction is supposed to be to this. Aggravated? Impressed? Fearful? I suggest the most common would be dumb-struck and bewildered. Maybe that’s what he was going for, either way, this is one of the weirdest sights I’ve seen from any football match.
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s a crazy Barcelona fan flinging himself through the air at a ball he was never going to reach. As a wayward cross from the Barca right flies off the pitch, a desperate fan tries to catch the ball in an attempt that was, let’s say, somewhat ambitious. For his troubles, he got a face-full of concrete, thousands of socios laughing their heads off and a lifetime of embarrassment. ¡Olé!
3. Mental Dental Incidental
Sometimes when you’re at a match, the game is utterly uninspiring. What do you do when the action’s quietened down on the pitch? Buy a pie, read the program, chat to your mates/that old bloke in the seat next to you who swears he’s never seen his side play worse and he’s been coming since 1931 when…blah blah blah. Well it appears some people have their own novel ways of passing the time while watching a game, as this sunglasses-wearing Chelsea fan gets down to some serious scrubbing. As Kalou waits to come on, our man is seen just casually brushing his teeth in the background – extraordinary stuff.
4. He Can’t Have Been English
A penalty has been awarded in a league match between FC Saturn and Spartak Moscow in Russia’s Premier League. The forward places the ball on the spot, the whole stadium is waiting with a tense excitement… and the ball is cooly slotted home, low to the keeper’s right. The perfect penalty. Except that this wasn’t the Spartak player scoring, it was some chubby bloke in a stripey jumper. Not only does the pitch-invader score, he wheels away in celebration and runs the length of the pitch with his arms aloft. Class.
5. Chelsea’s Most Positive Fan, YEAH?
And people say football fans are simple-minded idiots… An astonishing clip that combines ridiculous statements and linguistic repetition that beggars belief, this Chelsea fan doesn’t represent his club’s fans in the best light.
In just 93 seconds, he manages a mind-blowing 22 ‘yeahs’, that’s just under one every four seconds – a constancy that almost requires respect, but instead ends up producing a feeling of amazement and pity. Imagine him on Take Your Pick, I wouldn’t fancy his chances in Des O’Connor’s Yes/No Game, yeah?
For more nutjobs and weirdos, as well as plenty of rumour, conjecture, thoughts and theories, follow me on Twitter: @stuartcfootball
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