The bid has been made within ze last few days, but ze Udinese chairman is…how you say…keeping ze lips sealed, ze cards close to ze chest and ze culprit’s identity firmly under ze hat!
Our friend Sancez has scored 11 goals this season for Udinese, and he is highly rated amongst the elite of Europe. It comes as no surprise, therefore, that such a large bid has been made for him! But…mon dieu!….who by? Mr. Franco Soldati, ze chairman for Udinese said,
‘Sanchez is of interest to British and Italian teams. Somebody has already offered for Alexis Sanchez a figure close to 30-35 million Euros but I cannot say by whom.’
My friends, I believe that ze culprit is here in Europe, and he will make himself known to us. But first, ze little grey cells, they are beginning to twitch, no? Alors, let us discuss together who could be the mysetery bidder, before they can strike again!
Perhaps it was Sir Alex Ferguson of Manchester United? Sir Alex has been linked with Sanchez in the past, and the player has been in United’s sights for some time now. But, with Rooney and Berbatov does he have ze firepower he needs?? He is losing Giggs and Scholes very soon, so perhaps he will be recruiting for new talent?
Or perhaps it was Carlo Ancellotti at Chelsea! We know…do we not…that he is planning to sell Drogba, Malouda and Anelka at ze end of ze season, and is on the look-out for talent to replace them with. Abramovich is keen to invest in the squad, but after spending £50 million on Torres, has he gone to spend another £29 million on Sanchez?
But let us not dwell on ze Premier League, my friends. For as Soldati says, the Italians have an interest in Sanchez. Could perhaps Inter Milan have made the bid? They know ze player inside out, and who’s to say they have not been monitoring him for some time.
Mon dieu I almost forgot! The Spanish, my friends! For it is always ze one you least suspect, is it not? Real Madrid and Barcelona have the finances, and this is clearly the work of someone with alot of cash. But Barcelona also have David Villa, who is of a similar age. The plot, as they say, is thickening!
My friends, perhaps we will never know ze secret bidder! Perhaps it is all, how you say, a trick to lure us off the scent! Perhaps Sanchez is going nowhere for now, and Soldati knows this. Mon dieu, we know only one thing….that the Chilean is worth alot of money to someone and they are out there now…waiting and watching…
Be on your guard, my friends, for I do not think we have heard ze last of this mystery!
For more awful text impressions of famous literary detectives, follow Peter Turner on Twitter @petermagpie
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