Manchester United

Criminal Kits? Toffees Don’t Even Make The Top 5!

There have been hundreds of fashion howlers in football history; from Norwich’s take on a Jackson Pollock in 1993 to Arsenal’s bizarre yellow and navy triangles, kit designers have explored far beyond the region of inexplicable ridiculousness.

Now, Everton are set to release a ‘lightening pink’ design as a nod to the colours worn by the Everton players who raised the Toffee’s first ever league crown.

As a reference to their efforts, The Tavern counts down the worst football kits of all-time.

5.Newcastle (2009) As if to add insult to injury after a disastrous season at St James’ Park, Newcastle unveiled an appalling custard and cream coloured shirt just last year. The publicity shots of Stephen Taylor smiling heroically yet painfully as he models the kit will have been burned in agony to the retina of every Newcastle follower and merrily rejoiced by Sunderland supporters. Fortunately for Newcastle, the bananas in pajamas didn’t fall down the stairs, as they managed to clamber back into the English top-flight at the first attempt.

4.Manchester United (1995-96) Manchester United’s away kit in 1995 was so exceptionally horrific that it was changed at half-time during a Premier League game. The players were obviously detested to distraction by the monstrosity and were 3-0 down to Southampton before the break. Incensed by the performance, Alex Ferguson consigned the grey kit to refuse and United wore their third kit for the second half. They went on to lose 3-1.

3.Mexico (1994) Mexican Goalkeeper Jorge Campos probably has a wardrobe full of intense, kaleidoscopic and eye-wrenchingly awful jerseys. The designer must have either been on some serious psychedelic substances or a massive fan of Joseph’s Technicolour Dreamcoat. His 1994 number is unquestionably the pick of the bunch. If the World Cup had been screened in HD that year, Campos’ shirt would’ve probably made your TV explode and your eyes bleed.

2.Hull City (1992-93) Hull City showed the world why club nicknames should never influence fashion design. In 1992, the team prowled the field in a get-up normally reserved for desperate, aging women. The tiger-stripes were far from grrreat. Just be thankful the idea of using nicknames as a base for fashion design was nipped in the bud before the Cottagers hopped on the bandwagon.

1. Scunthorpe (!?) Scunthorpe may not be known for much but it does indeed hold the mantle for quite possibly the worst football kit in creation. The designer’s must’ve been on holiday in Hawaii wherein they decided to have a partial lobotomy. Upon their return to the Lincolnshire town, a gripping inspiration must’ve taken hold. A piece of pink crape paper, some glue, and a bathtub full of toffee wrappers later, they must’ve thought they were back in Honolulu.

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