Having only recently heard of David Pleat’s departure from ITV as a co-commentator I can finally sigh a sound of relief for the bumbling buffoon has thankfully spoke his last words through our televisions. Pleat’s managerial career of ‘close, but no cigar’ after having spells at Luton and Tottenham has been overshadowed by a glittering career of co-commentary gaffs. The man is just beyond words when it comes to talking the complete ridiculous.
The only person who comes close to Pleat’s Gaff throne is God rest his soul Bobby Robson, who despite his many dodgy comments, my personal favourite being “The first ninety minutes of a football match are the most important” held a true passion for the game and was liked by all football fans alike. Pleat on the other hand just inflames me. His attempts to pronounce players names differently from how they are actually said are like some daft arse attempt at flair in his co-commentary. As if he takes pride in his individuality. No David you just sound a prat. ‘Chimbomba’ is apparently Pleat’s version of Chimbonda and the latest one I had heard him proclaim was ‘He’s played well tonight Ben-ya-noon.’ Who the hell is Benyanoon?! Sorry David do you mean Benayoun the Israeli midfielder who plays for Liverpool? Or has Liverpool wasted another 20 million on another useless stooge I didn’t know about? (Sorry Liverpool fans I couldn’t help myself.) The all time classic for Pleats ineptness for names comes with the over excited proclaim of ‘Terry Shedingham!’ Dear o dear.
Pleat not only loves a name change to brighten up commentary on a game, he knows how to state the bleeding obvious. ‘A game is not won until it’s lost.’ Thanks again David, how much ITV paying for that little gem you just offered us? With him finally leaving us to expand his role at Nottingham Forest, which I will not accept has anything to do with their rich vein of form; we thankfully no longer have to hear ‘I was inbred into the game by my father.’ Or the timeless ‘This is a real cat and carrot situation.’ If you’re wondering well yes this is all good and well, Pleat is a self aggrandising tool but he doesn’t deserve a smack. I leave you with this, as a man famed for his compassion, he sensitively noted that the Champions League clash for which Gerard Houllier made his comeback when Liverpool manager after illness was and I quote ‘not a game for the faint hearted.’
Written By Matthew Balmforth
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