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Escapini’s Premiership Predictor

Bolton vs Tottenham

Bolton in recent appearances – without the aid of Danny Murphy’s hints and tips –  are playing some pretty decent football. Spurs by contrast tend to act like hungover teenagers after a good game and they had a staggering one against Inter.

Prediction 1-1

Birmingham v West Ham

Birmingham deserve to win this if only on a ‘last laugh’ basis. Gold & Sullivan may have some novelty comedy value but Brum are doing their very best to actually be a football club. I feel sorry for Avram.

Prediction 1-0

Blackburn v Wigan

The one nailed on certainty is a low attendance. Not crowing, rather just stating facts. Neither club are doing the gate business they would wish for this season.The two clubs sit rather glumly side by side in the table.

Prediction A really dull 1-1

Blackpool v Everton

By contrast a game I’d be happy to pay to go and watch. Moyes is possibly cooking up something really worth eating this term and that lunatic Holloway is doing a cracking job with resources that nobody in their right mind would attempt to tackle the Premier League with.

Prediction 1-1

Fulham v Aston Villa

For me, neither team have players that are capable of setting this game alight, let alone the Premiership. Houllier has done nothing inspirational since his arrival, Hughes needs to up his game too, by the way. This looks almost as dull as the Blackburn/Wigan gig.

Prediction 0-0

Man Utd v Wolves

Wazza heads of to Niketown to focus on how he can escape his minders and procure something that isn’t a wheatgrass smoothie. Wolves are determined to survive.

Prediction 2-0

Sunderland v Stoke City

Another potentially awful game. Let’s hope for belated fireworks. Sunderland’s last outing may well/ought to (delete as appropriate) put some fire back in their collective bellies. Sane money must be on Stoke to nick it.


Arsenal v Newcastle

What a game this’ll be. If there is one Premiership side who will not give a rat’s bottom about going to the Emirates, it’s this lot. The Gunners will need to put this lot of marauding northerners to the sword in order to convince their faithful. Hughton’s mob are in the mood for another 3 points.

Prediction 3-3

West Brom v Man City

Of course, when things aren’t going to plan you need an away trip to The Hawthorns just to lift morale. Sod Europa, the upshot of this game will cause kittens. If City lose. Tevez is back.

Prediction 1-3

Liverpool v Chelsea

The game that Roy doesn’t want to play.  Right now. If Liverpool lose, screams for his resignation will only be audible by dogs. My best guess is that Liverpool get thumped. I don’t have a hate on for Liverpool. I just don’t get how a freight train can be stopped by a doddery old guy with a sincere look on his face.


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Article title: Escapini’s Premiership Predictor

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