You Fat Bar Steward! Our Top 5 Fat Footballers

Since joining Liverpool from Newcastle back in January, Andy Carroll has been sidelined with a thigh injury which has meant he hasn’t kicked a ball in anger for the whole of 2011. Not surprisingly, the inactivity that goes with such an injury has meant Andy has put on a few pounds (not just because of his contract fees either!) and the Geordie striker has been put on a special training regime by the Reds to ensure that he’s down to his ‘fighting weight’ when he does eventually start.

Carroll isn’t the first footballer to struggle with his weight, as these 5 examples show;

Mido – The Egyptian striker was famous for the amount of weight he put on whilst at Middlesbrough, and his size was often a subject for chants from ‘mean’ fans up and down the country. Mido, who also had spells with West Ham, Tottenham and Wigan, never really fulfilled his potential at Boro scoring just 12 goals in 51 appearances. He blamed his lack of form on an inflamed ‘pubic bone’. The 28 year old is currently at Dutch giants Ajax, and weighs a svelte 83kg.

Yakubu – Currently at Leicester City, the Yak, has never been what you would call ‘dainty’. Another ex-Boro legend, the Nigerian’s weight was often called into question during his time at Everton. Following one 10 month lay off, Yakubu admitted that he had spent most of his spare time watching DVD’s including Will Smith’s ‘Hancock.’ He stressed that he had tried very hard not to get fat, but admitted that the boredom often resulted in him stuffing his face.

3) Andy Reid – Often compared unfavourably to the Michelin Man, Reid is another footballer who has struggled to lose that ‘spare tyre’ over the years. Strangely it’s never really stopped Reid from performing, with most of his past managers claiming that he’s as fit as a butcher’s dog. Reid has spent much of his career at Sunderland, maybe because vertical stripes are quite flattering. He’s at Sheffield United for the time being who have a similar slimming effect.

Mick Quinn – If anyone knew about weight problems, it was the Mighty Quinn. The Liverpool born striker, who managed over 200 goals during his career, was known for his ‘playboy’ lifestyle. Fans initially loved his rotund appearance, singing ‘He’s Fat, He’s Round, He Scores at Every Ground’ at the tubby-target man. Following his retirement however, Quinn piled on the pounds and weighed a hefty 19 stone when he signed up for ITV’s Celebrity Fit Club, alongside dart’s player Bobby George and astrologer Russel Watson. Quinn managed to lose 4 stone 8 pound and was named Mr. Fit Club 2006.

Neil ‘Razor’ Ruddock – As played by Ray Winstone. No, I’m joking! Ex-Liverpool and West Ham hardman, ‘Razor’ Ruddock was always a hefty player but since retiring like Quinn he’s really piled on the pounds. When he went into the Australian jungle for his stint on I’m A Celebrity (Get Me My Career Back), it was hoped that some of the weight would drop off. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone tuck into a Kangaroo’s anus as quickly and happily as Ruddock did!

This article is only meant to entertain, not to mock! You know who else has a bit of a weight issue…yeah, me….but that’s ok! I like to eat, and that’s just fine! More cushion for the pushin’, more of me to love etc etc. So to all my hefty brothers, be they wheezing heavily on the pitch, or just wheezing heavily at the side of it, I say just be comfortable in your skin, whatever you weigh! If this list is anything to go by, you might still have a footballing career ahead of you. And women go crazy for a bigger man! Look at Barry White and the Hairy Bikers!

For actual dietry advice, consult your GP, but for the latest amusing articles and transfer rumours join my Twitter page @petermagpie

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