I want you to close your eyes (leave one slightly ajar to keep reading) and imagine Neill Ruddock bearing over you.  Now, if you were imagining this occurring on a rain soaked football field as you desperately shield the ball from the seemingly Dickensian-named defender, or even down a dark alley following a drunken misunderstanding – ‘Razor’ grabbing you by the scruff of the neck and landing a breathless blow to the abdomen – I want you to think again.

Imagine, if you will, Neill Ruddock in your bed, bearing over you with a big brawling bare body, a sweaty brow and his balmy breath on your back…

Horrifying isn’t it, but given I’m writing about his WAG I thought it was only reasonable to share the image.

Indeed, it’s the vision that Mrs Razor Ruddock has come to enjoy, so just you keep persevering. Former Page Three pin-up, Playboy ‘Girl of the Month’ and topless model, Leah Newman is the buxom beauty who brings that sweat to Razor’s brow.

If you were keen to spend some quality time in her company, you may have a chance; the couple took part in the ever elegant Wife Swap in 2007, so keep petitioning.

But would you want, or dare, go where Big Razor Ruddock had been?

Let’s stick to pictures of the lovely Leah instead…

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