Arsenal

His Passport Photo Has A Caption Which Reads, ‘Continues Overleaf’

For a man who normally keeps his thoughts to himself, this is quite an astonishing outburst from Sol Campbell.

The player was a legend at White Hart Lane. Adored by all, he caused unmitigated fury when waltzing off to play for long standing arch enemies Arsenal. A sign draped at one game by a Tottenham supporter summed up the mood, We hate you so much because we loved you so much.’

Campbell returned to the Premier League spotlight last season rejoining Arsenal. His performances were acknowledged broadly as demonstrating he still had much to offer and whispers grew of a possible call up to Capello’s ill fated England squad.

His recent transfer to Newcastle United should have been greeted with happy anticipation, but a picture of him in training raised a question amongst Toon fans. Had they bought a lemon – or rather a catering sack of them?

“It’s pathetic, don’t they know I have just got married and been on honeymoon?

Where did you stay, The Colonel Sanders Ranch?

“I accept that the picture wasn’t flattering, and I do need to catch up on my level of fitness, but the training kit was not very flattering and showed up all sorts of things.

Like breasts.

“The truth is that I am now in better shape than when I started off back at Arsenal after a long lay-off.’’

That is the truth is it? Right oh.

“I am a naturally big guy, but I cannot rush my conditioning, otherwise trying too much too quickly could result in injuries,’’

Like a milkshake straw in the eye, that sort of thing.

“My message is simple to all the knockers: I am knuckling down and want to play my football with a great club and a great manager. Then you can judge me.’’

Now he’s talking to his t*ts …how queer.

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