Manchester City

Is City’s Peter Fletcher The Biggest Loser In Football?

Manchester City managed to spoil their title win thanks to the insane jobsworth behaviour of Peter Fletcher, the club’s Stadium Security & Safety Manager.

As the whistle blew for full time, Joe Hart walloped the ball into the crowd. A 17 year old boy close to the disabled section caught the ball. You can imagine how delighted he must have been. He made no secret of his prize and even contacted the Mirror newspaper to see if there was a chance a celebratory snap being published.

But unknown to the boy, Fletcher had initiated a man hunt using CCTV footage and identified the occupant of the seat where the ball landed and called in the police claiming that the boy had stolen MCFC property.

The coppers duly obliged, located the boy and arrested him. As they take the boy away he is told that they are going to see Peter Fletcher and upon arriving at the Club’s offices; Fletcher reads the boy the riot act.

The ball is returned by 5pm that day or he will be banned from Manchester City games home and away. Essentially threatened with being treated like a hardcore football hooligan.

Upon returning home the boys father rings Fletcher and informs him that in actual fact the ball, once full time is blown, returns to being property of The Premier League.

The father has told Fletcher that the ball can be returned, but wants the details of the police officers that seemingly ‘arrested’ then ‘un-arrested’ his son so he can make an official complaint.

A police spokesman told the Manchester Evening News,  “It was decided the most appropriate course of action was to use Restorative Justice, so the boy was taken to the Etihad Stadium where he met with security staff and the matter is being resolved.”

Hasn’t Peter Fletcher got anything useful he could be doing, like picking up litter or something?

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