Jermain Defoe might rarely be at the tops of the goals charts these days, but today we’re looking at an all new type of table; the WAG table. And in this League Defoe is the man to beat. Expending more energy in China White’s and subsequent bedrooms (or cabs, alleyways, etc) than on the pitch. Defoe is our Champion Ladies man. Lets review some of his highlights in a long and illustrious career.
WAG is clearly not a viable career choice, but Miss Lloyd doesn’t believe that, being dubbed ‘Career WAG’. Having seen more footballers undies than the kit man, Danielle is the Queen WAG (a competitive title). Surely a perfect match. But it appears neither could keep it in their pants. I doubt either left heart-broken.
So nearly the one. The struggling model/actress/club rep/whatever and Jermaine were engaged briefly, and even made this heart-warming appearance together on mediocre daytime TV. What a fairy tale! But they were constantly plagued by rumours Defoe was cheating, mostly because he was, and the fairy tale proved to be more Jeremy Kyle.
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Reality TV stars fade fast, but back in the day Chantelle was a big name as one half of Chantelle and Preston (ask your dad). No one would dare claim Chantelle was just desperately trying to cling to her BB fame when she hooked up with Defoe in 09. It may come as a shock to find the pair unfortunately didn’t last the distance.
Jermaine must have sat watching BB with a pad and pen, and made a list. Imogen apparently thought she might ‘settle down’ with Jermaine. Great idea girl, not sure what could have wrong. A marginally smarter girl than Defoe’s usual.
After a few years away from the WAG scene, Defoe return with this very blond, very Essex, bombshell. ‘Aspiring singer’ (ha) Roxy almost moved in with Jermaine until also accusing him of cheating. Champagne in hand, Our hero once again ventured out into the sticky dance floors of Essex, to continue his epic quest for love.
You may be thinking but all this is old news. And you’d be right. But the years have passed and surely Jermaine is now an older, wiser guy. Enter former reality TV star, with her fame now declining. Burke has followed the time tested career advice, ‘can’t get on TV, bed Jermaine Defoe’ (JobCenter should start promoting this tactic). We wait with baited breath to see Alexandra can be ‘the one’.
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