Manchester United

Mad Hatter’s Tea Party Remembered

I remember watching Beauty and the Beast when I was younger. I was so perplexed and so horrified at the spectacle that I remember nervously slinking out of the living room before the film reached its climax. The experience stuck and I’ve yet to, and have no inclination, to see the monstrous cartoon in its entirety, high-definition or otherwise.

Fortunately, however, the whole bizarre scenario was reenacted in the real world before OK! reader’s eyes by Manchester United right-back Gary Neville. Neville, who lead proceedings masquerading as the Beast, accompanied Belle, portrayed by Emma Hadfield, at the altar to swear the “I do’s” in June 2007.

Regrettably, the Neville’s opted for a traditional ceremony. Gary wore a fetching brown (!?) suit and the bride was draped marvelously by predictable white. You can’t help but think they really missed an opportunity with this one though.

The opportunity to clad Emma in a yellow ballroom dress and Gary in a slightly worn and stretched blue tuxedo, a golden waistcoat and ripped pleated trousers should have proved unmissable.

The guests, of course, could have followed suit. Phil could have arrived dashed with gold as a candelabra, a la Lumiere; the bottom half of Coleen’s dress could have been feathered like a duster; and Rooney could have attached vertical whisker-like prongs to his face to favour Cogsworth the clock.

My theory is that this idea was actually tended too. I’m guessing the only reason it didn’t come to fruition is because Bryan Robson refused to go dressed as a tea pot.

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