They are generally the ex-professional footballers that have the unique ability (among footballers) to string a coherent sentence together (sometimes). They have the belief that they have some kind of insight and knowledge of the game which us mere mortals do not possess.
In reality they generally spout the obvious using an array of historical cliches and badly executed metaphors. We are, of course, talking about football pundits and below are our list of the five most annoying:
Probably the quintessenial annoying commentator. You may not know his name but you will certainly recognise his voice from ITV. He is the channel’s main co-commentator and is the main reason why I find the BBC sport coverage far superior.
The man has the ability to pronounce the same name a thousand different ways, meaning during a World cup or European championships he really comes into his own. My all time favourite has to be his pronouciation of Paraguay defender Chiqui Arce during the 2002 World cup. Genius!
Pleat has really hung around in the media since his day’s as Spurs manager and I think I know why. He has the ability to fill airtime like no other. Unfortunately he fills it with a stream of incoherent nonsense, often tripping over his words and throwing away sentence after sentence, after sentence in order to make the simplest of points. ‘Get to the point Pleaty!’
Maybe my annoyance with Taylor stems from his uneventful term in the ‘biggest job in football.’ More likely it is his reliance on catchphrases. ‘Do I not like that’ he is often heard to cry. If you are referring to your poor grasp of your native tongue Taylor, then I wholeheartedly concur.
So what is the most annoying thing about former Tottenham Hotspur man Garth Crooks. Is it the questions he insists on asking, with the answer already in there? Is it his array of extreme facial expressions that could put the most professional mime to shame?
Or is it his constant tendancy to dispute popular opinion, no matter what the evidence to the contray? Surely it has to be his on screen disagreements with fellow pundits which seem to escalate to such heights that Crooks himself looks as though he’s going to stab someone.
For me Alan Hansen has to get the award for most annoying pundit. Imust have sat through hour upon hour of the former Liverpool defender droning on and on about positioning goal side, with endless replays conplete with circling of out of position defenders. His favourite word is abysmal and he seems to use it endlessly. ‘ The defending there was abysimal’.
I believe it was from his mouth that the famously disproved statement, ‘you canna win anything with kids’ was first released into the world. Thanks Alan, but if you really do know so much about defending why not go and coach, and give us all a break!
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