Arsenal

Our Top 5 Footballing Twitterati Tweeters

The five players whose daily musings delight and rile in equal measure, on the pretty popular social networking site twitter. 

Joey Barton HERE

It’s best to get this one out of the way first. A modern day George Orwell, Joey Barton shows us all the way with an irresistible cocktail of wisdom and wit. During an underwhelming season on the pitch, Barton’s still managed to forge a route into the news frequently this year for reasons other than actually playing decent football. The QPR midfielder has plenty to say about current events, and doesn’t hold back when lurched behind his laptop. Only a few weeks ago Barton posted an admittedly hilarious review about the city of Sunderland, whilst managing to further initiate online conflict by subtly including a certain scoreline:

“Reminds me of a film this 5under1and place, can’t think which one. #the Deliverance.”

For those confused about the content of this provocative remark, the Deliverance is a film set in the remote Georgian wilderness, in which some of the locals are inbred and educationally subnormal. But the People of Sunderland had the last laugh, as Barton was forced to watch the entire game at the Stadium of Light from the bench.

“In times of universal deceit, telling the truth will be a revolutionary act.” (Joey7Barton, 2011)

Rio Ferdinand HERE

Rio remains the man to follow on twitter, mainly due to the fact he’s down with the kids, the parents, the celebs, the common folk, the insanely rich folk. Plus (he reckons) he’s a man of many talents; rap star, fashion icon, journalist and part-time centre back. In order to follow Ferdinand without getting too down about your own lack of social flare, one must learn to become accustomed to words such as “G-star”, “Playa”, “Boss” and so on. But it’s not just modern day slang and “Bants” with Piers Morgan on Ferdinand’s agenda, he also likes to regularly update us on his sleeping pattern, his meal of the day and general things that come instantly to mind. All in all he’s highly thought of in the cool stakes, knows a lot of influential people, but is actually quite boring.

“Does my head in when people wee on the toilet seat…look at it then leave it there like it’s normal….nasty.” (rioferdy5, 2012)

Emmanuel Frimpong HERE

Though he’s hardly established himself as a Premier League powerhouse, Frimpong certainly earns respect from fans of the tweet. Coming up with the ludicrously catchy tagline ‘#DENCH,’ Frimpong’s online stock has soared over the past year. Much like philosopher Joey Barton, the Arsenal man is no stranger to controversy and loves to translate his on-field tenacity to the world wide web. After team mate Samir Nasri left the club last summer for a few bob extra, Jack Wilshere was quick to praise the departing Frenchman, gushing:

“Good luck to my friend @Nanas08 (mr Nasri) learnt a lot from him. World class player! Will be missed!”

But Frimpong moved quick to dispel any notion he might share the sentiment, replying:

“Pffffff comeon Jack.”

The Wolves loanee is comparable to Chuck Norris in cult status, with phrases such as ‘you’ve been Frimponged’ surfacing in recent times. Many consider the 20 year old to be some kind of indestructible, all-conquering being but, for now, he’ll be hoping he can overcome a cruciate ligament injury which has sidelined him for the rest of the season.

“I have just today realised Suarez is a total wasteman Clown.” (Frimpong26AFC, 2012)

Wayne Rooney HERE

Rooney’s a global superstar, but perhaps doesn’t command too much respect on these shores. With constant slurs concerning his intelligence and appearance, it’s no surprise the United star needs to vent his own opinions through the medium of tweet. The striker only acquired a profile last year, but has wasted no time in immersing himself in the hot debates online. Though his grammar consistently falls short, often confusing his you’res and yours and theirs and they’res, the number 1o frequently goes out of his way to ensure he entertains the masses.

He’s taken regular swipes at Luis Suarez, joined forces with Rio Ferdinand to regularly berate Piers Morgan, called Madrid defender Pepe an idiot and as recently as yesterday criticised Didier Drogba for his elaborate playacting during Chelsea’s match with Barcelona:

“Drogba. Your a good player but pls get up.” http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/football/4266978/Wayne-Rooney-slams-Didier-Drogba-on-Twitter-for-play-acting.html

Funnily enough no such thing was said of teammate Ashley Young when he took the plunge against Aston Villa, but then again Twitter is a famed hunting ground for utter hypocrites.

“At safari park yesterday with kai. A monkey has stole my back window wiper. Cheeky monkey.” (WayneRooney, 2012)

Michael Owen HERE

A well liked, wholesome individual, this man represents the perfect choice for those who like to kick back and enjoy a nice story about mowing the lawn or baking brownies. Yes, Michael Owen is one of the most sincerely dull footballers you’ll ever come across. But don’t let that put you off, he’s a good guy and makes the effort to ensure his fans are up to date with how he’s doing with his jigsaws, his horses and of course his recovery from his latest injury.

However, every so often the United reserve star gets bored of playing with his dogs and chips in with his opinions on the hot topics circulating the twittesphere. A few months ago he slammed the losing mentality ingrained in all us English, after the national side were praised following a ‘heroic’ loss to Holland at Wembley. He tweeted:

“Surprised at the reaction after last night’s match. Experimental team or not, getting beat at Wembley is disappointing. I mean, it’s hardly like we played brilliant and were unlucky to lose.”

The former Newcastle man doesn’t tend to provoke too often though, instead catering mainly for housewives, pensioners and kids growing up hoping to be just like him one day (but a bit fitter and a little less bland).

“One of the worst things about being a footballer is being ill. I’ve got a sore throat and a bunged up nose but not allowed anything for it! Not even allowed a lemsip as that, just like most other things, has banned substances in it. Strepsils are about as much as we are allowed.” (themichaelowen, 2012)


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