Premier League

Redknapp & Levy Plot The Future…

With Champions League football confirmed, the Groups mapped out, Tottenham of all the British teams may want to take stock of their players and decide if they need to add to what they have.

We know that Harry is after Diarra, but Spurs fans might just be hoping for someone a little bit special to bolster their chances. Gallas will provide some much needed backbone, but surely a bit of magic could take place before the window slams shut?

This was on Harry Hotspur yesterday, reproduced with kind permission.

HR: Alright, Daniel. Good stuff last night eh?

DL: Most pleasing.

HR: Champions League,  here we come, eh?

DL: Absolutely. And we achieved written assurances from the flag manufacturers in relation to the repeated usage.  If the flag or handle deteriorate noticeably after three game we’ll be looking at a 25% account credit. They are the same company that provide the Hi Viz jackets for the stewards. A true win -win scenario Harold.

HR: So … I er, here’s that list of the lads we could use er need to get amongst ’em for the Group stages you asked me to draw…

DL: I’m unconvinced that I recall that conversation…

HR: Well I probably said I’d make a list, so we, you and me could be ready like, you know to… there will be some very difficult games comin’ up now. I mean your Barcelona’s and your Inters and your Real Madrids and wot not.

DL: I thought Peter looked every inch the part last night. You ought to play him more often Harold. He scored so many that afterwards they let him keep the football. My understanding is that we simply reverse invoice FIFA and it is absorbed as a sundry. We can hardly say it got kicked out onto the road  as it was televised, can we?

HR: So these lads…I’ve tapped, er Ive had no direct contact myself of course but I understand from what  er they’ve said that we could probably get them in like. They’d be very keen.

DL: In return for Jenas perhaps?

HR: Not exactly.

DL:You’re not going to sell Bobby Keano, are you? He’s scored lots of goals.A genuine asset. Liverpool paid true market rate for him.

HR: Daniel, we can’t even give him away. The Sweaties can’t afford his wages, The Villa are potless and no one else wants him in their dressing room. We can’t even palm ‘im off on the Paddys cause he’s run out of boyhood clubs.

DL: You should give him run out Harold. He’s scored lots and lots of goals. Gosh, imagine all the footballs he would be given. You ought to tell him that. Gee him along a little. Sometimes all these boys need is a kind word, incentivising.

HR: This list.. I…

DL: I think that is a splendid idea. Draw up a whole new team and put in all the ones that have scored the most goals in it. Now I’m actually late for a meeting. Pop the list onto that Excel I sent you and get my secretary to pencil you in for very early next month. I don’t want to be out of the loop on this. Top priority. Shoulder to shoulder.

Levy suddenly disappears from the corridor. Harry stares at the piece of paper in his hand. Softly we just hear him say, ‘Sandra says we haven’t Excel on our Wii’.

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