Manchester United

Roy Keane Rants Remembered (part 1)

In my opinion Roy Keane was the best captain any club could have wanted. He demanded players gave everything for the club and he got it out of them, mainly through being so scary that no one would argue with captain psycho. There’s no denying that he is a cantankerous bugger though. Here are some of the most memorable moments where Keano was feeling a tad crabby.

The One That Got Roy Thrown Out Of The 2002 World Cup

Keane was unhappy with pretty much everything to do with the Republic of Ireland’s preparation for the biggest football tournament on Earth. The training pitch, the travel, the airport?! No one was safe, be them abstract or concrete.  I wouldn’t be surprised if he complained that the water was too wet, or the ball was too round.

This led to a huge row with Ireland coach Mick McCarthy, who Keane had previous with when McCarthy was still playing for Ireland. Keane told McCarthy: “Mick, you’re a liar… you’re a f***ing w**ker. I didn’t rate you as a player, I don’t rate you as a manager, and I don’t rate you as a person. You’re a f***ing w**ker and you can stick your World Cup up your arse. The only reason I have any dealings with you is that somehow you are the manager of my country! You can stick it up your bollocks.”

Stick it up your bollocks?! Classic.

The One With The Prawn Sandwich

“Sometimes you wonder, do they understand the game of football?” he splutters. “We’re 1-0 up, then there are one or two stray passes and they’re getting on players’ backs. It’s just not on. At the end of the day they need to get behind the team. Away from home our fans are fantastic, I’d call them the hardcore fans. But at home they have a few drinks and probably the prawn sandwiches, and they don’t realise what’s going on out on the pitch. I don’t think some of the people who come to Old Trafford can spell ‘football’, never mind understand it.”

I can’t imagine what Keane would be like if he played for United now. Old Trafford is a constant wash of prawn since the Glazers starting forcing out proper fans with their ridiculous season ticket increases.

The One With Alf Inge Haaland

“I’d waited long enough. I fucking hit him hard. The ball was there (I think). Take that you c***,” he recalled in his autobiography in 2002. “And don’t ever stand over me again sneering about fake injuries. And tell your pal [David] Wetherall there’s some for him as well. I didn’t wait for Mr Elleray to show the red card. I turned and walked to the dressing room.”

Probably Keane’s nastiest moment. Initially Keane only received a £5,000 fine but that little paragraph in his book cost him another £150,000 and a five match ban. Haaland retired through injury, co-incidentally due to his other knee.

The One That Led To Roy Leaving United

“Just because you are paid £120,000-a-week and play well for 20 minutes against Tottenham, you think you are a superstar,” Keane said about Rio Ferdinand. He attacked seven of his teammates in an interview with MUTV. The interview never saw the light of day at Sir Alex Ferguson’s insistence.

I can’t remember whether I had read it or someone in the know told me but there’s more to the story. Apparently Ferguson ordered a team meeting and told Keane he’d brought the club into disrepute. Keane’s response was: “And what about you and all your Rock of Gibraltar shite?!”

You can imagine Fergie’s reaction to that. So long Roy.

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