Welcome to Rumours of the Week, a trawl through the moshpit of baseless speculation, wild guesswork and occasionally informed opinion that contributes to the wonder of nature that we call the Transfer Tavern. It doesn’t matter if you are a Red Devil, a Gunner, a Spurs fan or a Liverpool fan in need of solace, get yourself a drink from the bar, pull up a stool, grab your nuts and listen up.
The biggest rumour this week is that Wolfsburg and Bosnia striker Edin Dzeko is a target in January for Arsene Wenger’s Arsenal. The striker has been linked with Milan and Manchester United too, or rather his agent has been working overtime trying to create a myth that he has. Dzeko has been a huge hit in Germany and with Arsenal in the market for a striker, this rumour looks like it may have some credence to it. Expect a deal in January around the £15m mark, unless Mark Hughes tries to get involved in which case it will probably be four times that figure.
Given that Arsenal’s season is quickly going down the pan after three successive defeats and the realisation that their defence is about as convincing as Fred West’s, Arsene Wenger looks set to be busy…buying strikers. As well as Dzeko, Wenger’s been linked with Inter Milan’s Mario Balotelli and Bordeaux’s Marouane Chamakh (again). Does the Frenchman realise he has a defence? Or is he banking on Gus Caesar making a timely return from retirement to shore up things at the back?
Agents have been busy pimping the services of their players and trying to earn themselves a nice big fat percentage on the next set of contract and transfer negotiations. Rune Hauge is busily parading the fact that Morten Gamst-Pedersen is available from Blackburn at the end of the season for teams who are in dire need of a talented but ineffectual and largely disappointing left winger, who has a tendency to fall over should a fly burp in his ear-hole. Similarly in Germany, Manuel Neuer’s agent has been busy this week that Manchester United are very keen on signing his client. Translated from German agent speak into English, this means “Stuff your contract offer, we want at least £50,000 a week more and I’d like a luxury apartment in the heart of the Bavarian countryside too.”
Chelsea are not moving into the market in January according to manager Carlo Ancelotti. So the rumours of a major deal for two of South American’s finest young stars, Milan’s Alexandre Pato and Atletico Madrid’s Sergio Aguero are obviously not true. I mean it’s not like they have an ageing squad, key players to disappear to Africa for a month, special dispensation from the chairman to spend big, the club captain urging the club to buy players and the threat of a two year transfer ban hanging over them from February. So those rumours are just tosh, obviously.
Given Atletico Madrid’s start to the season in La Liga, which makes Liverpool’s struggles seem trivial in comparison, it is no surprise that both their star men are being tipped with a move away. Chelsea may want Aguero, but Liverpool are believed to be keen on Diego Forlan in what is basically a reprisal move by Rafa Benitez for Sir Alex Ferguson signing Michael Owen, and nothing to do with the fact that without Fernando Torres, Liverpool’s attack, led by the laconic “Bambi on ice” approach favoured by the gravity afflicted David N’Gog, is about as potent as Hugh Hefner without his viagra. Whilst Torres is recovering from his groin problem and the realisation that the only trophy he has a realistic chance of winning this season is the World Cup, Manchester City are supposedly preparing a £50m bid for him.
Go on, laugh at will. Enjoy it until next week!
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