Alan Shearer. A man who was a Newcastle United legend as a player but since then has offered little to the world of football.
He waited and he waited and he waited (you get the picture) before eventually taking the manager’s job at Newcastle by which time even the risen Christ wouldn’t have gone within 10 feet of it.
Toon went down like a Vaults’ dancer in a yashmak.
Then there was the World Cup. ‘For me..’ said Alan as his opening gambit to for every bloody thing he commented on. ‘Alan how was your lunch, mate?’ ‘For me…’, ‘Agggggggggghhh!’
His latest contribution to enhancing our televisual pleasure takes us to a new height in mystification.
Steven Gerrard’s naffing obvious as well as dangerous foul on Danny Wellbeck from the weekend is HERE.
“It’s a red card or it’s it’s nothing”.
So by the same logic, Joseph Stalin was a monster or he was a philanthropist.
Alan, we all know that your playing career was based as heavily on your elbows as it was your feet or head, but if you’re going to pass comment on play, with all the benefits that the latest technology your cosy BBC studio affords you, please try and engage your brain.
Gerrard isn’t a dirty player, but fouls like that are bad news for football and you remove them from the game by carding them on sight.
‘For me, that was a daft decision, Alan.’
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