Ah, remember that chap, Andre Santos? He was absolutely rubbish, wasn’t he?
Brazilian full-back Santos is pretty comprehensive evidence of the fact that having an exotic sounding name doesn’t immediately guarantee you success, despite common belief.
Indeed, when we reach the grand old age of retirement and beyond, and misery and negativity has swallowed up our everyday personalities like with all ball-popping-youth-complaining oldies, and just about the only things we have left to talk about are our vegetable patches and golf handicaps, we will likely also find some entertainment in talking about miserable flops who played for X or Y.
Andre Santos is one such character.
Signed in the 2011 transfer window from Fenerbache for £6.2million as a late present for Arsenal fans who had been demanding new players like overzealous children equipped with Biro pens, Argos catalogues and the belief that Santa Claus is real (sorry), Santos should have been the answer to all their left-back worries. But he wasn’t, and like throwing water on a chip pan fire, the Brazilian just made the problem ten times worse.
Seriously – what isn’t there to say about how bad he was?
The Brazilian played with absolutely zero simply because he lumpy physique wouldn’t allow it. His first touch was about as clean as a lost property pair of boxers, his work rate was like that of an office worker’s at 4pm on a Friday, and his age (closing in on 30 at the time) didn’t exactly inspire hope.
Yes, he managed to bomb forwards on the odd occasion (in the loosest possible sense) but even a bumble bee can sting once; doesn’t mean it’s going to get back up and make an epic comeback once its insides have been ripped out and lodged into its unsuspecting victim. Similarly, Santos wasn’t able to make the return journey.
Didn’t help that he decided to swap shirts with Robin Van Persie at half-time when the Gunners met Manchester United either.
Arsenal fans, is Santos your worst ever January transfer? Just how bad was he? Let us know in the comments below!
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