The Football Transfer Tavern hasn’t lifted the much coveted ‘Tavern of the Year’ award since 2005 and this is something that irks my landlord.
The problem is now that, after eight years without lifting the trophy, my landlord feels that we have a psychological flaw in our mentality and no longer know how to achieve success.
Things haven’t been helped by our main rivals ‘Rumour Tavern’ being taken over by a Russian billionaire. This has meant they continually have the latest gadgets and trends in there – gold plated bar stools at the moment – and furthermore, we lost a twenty-two-year regular to them a few months ago.
My landlord does have the money to spend but is very frugal with how he does. This year, we have our best chance of winning the competition because our main rivals weren’t allowed entry as they failed the rules and regulations of Financial Fair Play. But trying to get my landlord to sign a new striker, sorry I mean, upgrade the tavern isn’t proving easy.
He called us all in the other day for crisis talks and I could have sworn at one point he took the form of Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger…
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