Chelsea

Spoof: Chelsea boss knows how to keep non-starters sweet after all!

Our regulars in the Football Transfer Tavern think our landlord is generous. He gives out the occasional free shot and is never slow to let us try and sample the different flavours of vodka at the bar. After the latest viral image we have been shown however, it is nothing compared to Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho!

During Tuesday’s Capital One Cup tie against Swindon Town, Mourinho handed German international and substitute for the evening Andre Schurrle a brand new, boxed Samsung TV!

Schurrle was sat behind Mourinho on the bench and looked rather pleased to be receiving the gift. It was of course the unofficial battle of Samsung, with both sides being sponsored by the South Korean electrical giants.

As one of our punters quips, Mourinho has long been renowned for his ability to get the best out of players, but we had no idea he did it with bribes and fancy TV sets!  This also proves that the Blues boss does indeed know how to keep his non-starters sweet after all, following the reported discontentment of Juan Mata and David Luiz.

Over a game of darts, our landlord notes that it is hardly like Schurrle cannot afford to buy a TV of his own, but perhaps Mourinho was keen for the forward’s home electrical appliances to match the name on his Chelsea shirt.

Given how many players Chelsea have at their disposal, and the amount of talent sitting on their bench, TVs will not keep them happy for long. After all, Juan Mata must now have at least three for every room in his house given the amount of time he has spent on the sidelines.

Perhaps if Mourinho really wants to keep his players happy, he should invest in iPads next time?

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