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Spoof: Chelsea boss winds up homeless outside the tavern!

The Football Transfer Tavern prides itself on putting the customers priorities and feelings, first. However, although this is a lovely ideology, my landlord now and then has to raise drink prices.

Last night, he ordered me to add a few of the Queen’s pence to each of our cocktails on the specials board.

Our Xisco Sour was raised to £4.93, the ever popular Black and (Vincent) Tan will now cost a punter £5.62 and Razor Ruddock Flirtini will cost you, well, the same price because we never sell them.

Anyway, every single customer accepted that raising the prices is part of a business and didn’t mind digging deep into their pockets for the extra five or six pence.

Apart from one.

This guy loves his Xisco sour and regularly comes in and orders a fishbowl. Well, he was up in arms and starting shouting abuse at my landlord and I, saying we are specialist in failures!

I wouldn’t have minded but this guy drives a Ferrari and has several holiday homes. What a joke.

Jose Mourinho

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Article title: Spoof: Chelsea boss winds up homeless outside the tavern!

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