Manchester United

Spoof: Manchester United boss desperately seeks extra points!

Most of us here in the Football Transfer Tavern spent the international break having a well earned rest from the worry and stress we face every weekend when our domestic teams play.

In fact, as one of our punters notes, we have been put to shame by Manchester United manager David Moyes, who has spent the break trying every way he can think of to get his struggling side some extra points this season.

Whilst some club managers take the chance to work with the players who did not make the international squads, or even scout around the games to see any potential transfer targets, Moyes was so concerned that next season he would be spending his Thursday nights filling the TV scheduling for ITV4, he decided to moonlight as a Tesco employee and build up those vital points!

Whilst the sentiment is admirable, as our landlord quips, those are not the points Moyes needs to see his side climb up the table!

Perhaps the pressure of taking over from Sir Alex Ferguson has finally gotten to him, and fair enough, but someone should really explain that not only do Tesco club card points not get you into the top four; they also cannot be used in the January transfer window to buy players!

One long suffering Red Devils fan even quips that United have already had an impostor problem this season when it came to trying to land Athletic Bilbao’s Ander Herrera – and certainly do not need to be using fake methods of payment when they try and land the Basque midfielder a second time!

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