The Football Transfer Tavern doesn’t like change. Therefore, it is usually a big thing when an unrecognised face rocks up at the bar.
My landlord instantly assumes the new customer is casing the joint, the other punters think a regular from our rival Rumour Pub has come over to cause some aggravation and me? I just like seeing a new face.
Anyway, this ginger Scottish bloke came in the other day and pulled up a bar stool.
He grunted something at me – I think he was after a JD and coke. After I’d served him, he started sobbing. I asked him what was the Mata? And he replied: “That’s just it. Juan was meant to solve everything.”
For the next hour, this unknown gentleman rabbited on about his problems. He kept saying he never should’ve left his previous job, that he felt like some fellow Scot was undermining him and basically, everything he touches turns to, well, you can use your imagination.
If you ask me, he’s a few skittles short of a tuck shop…
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