Manchester United

Spoof: Manchester United’s inbox inundated with emails!

I was bringing out a punter’s breakfast order – he’d gone for our special ‘Three Lions’ full-English breakfast – when my landlord made the announcement that Manchester United had sacked David Moyes.

The Football Transfer Tavern went into a stunned silence!

Eventually, the lapse in noise was broken by a yelp from a customer who, despite being a regular for years, had never said a word to anyone!

In, what I think was a Dutch accent, this, I’d guess 62-year-old, started singing, dancing, cheering and celebrating the sacking of the former Everton manager.

My Dutch isn’t what it used to be, so another punter translated for me. Apparently, this guy was joyously saying: “After I win the World Cup with Holland, I take the United job.”

A proper cockney geezer, who was dressed in a gilet that looked like he’d borrowed off of his son, overheard us and said: “Pfft, yeah right, pal.” And immediately took out his laptop and began writing an email.

I was so confused, what was going on? What was our Dutch regular on about? Why did our resident cockney (who, come to think of it, looked a lot like Tottenham Hotspur manager, Tim Sherwood) start writing an email?

More importantly, though, what the hell is my landlord going to do with his ‘The Chosen One’ banner?!

Manchester United

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