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Spoof: Newcastle United’s 2014/15 squad announced early!

For the last hour, the punters in the Football Transfer Tavern have done nothing but talk about wrestling.

I don’t have a clue – or interest – in that soap opera and eventually asked the customers to change the topic because I was getting bored. I wouldn’t have said that if my landlord was in.

The Newcastle United regulars then began to explain to me that Vince McMahon was planning to takeover the reigns at St. James’ Park.

Naturally, this meant I then engaged my pun gun and began rifling off some – what I think were – absolute classics.

My favourite was: “Will Pardew by signing any defenders, this summer? Someone to be The Rock at the back.”

The customers then got involved, but they weren’t as good, because, well, none of their puns made sense.

Anyway, once they’d stopped trying to be funny, we sat down and drafted up Newcastle’s squad for next season’s Premier League campaign.

Newcastle United

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Article title: Spoof: Newcastle United’s 2014/15 squad announced early!

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