No matter how many times I tell my landlord that the punters aren’t interested in seeing fancy food in the Football Transfer Tavern, he just doesn’t listen.
He once even paid for Gordon Ramsay to come in and produce a football themed menu. The idea was great – we had football shaped burgers, chocolate stadiums and even a statue of West Ham United and England legend Bobby Moore, made out of rice (no idea how it stayed up, mind).
Anyway, although the tavern was full, as the punters wanted a quick look at the celebrity stuff, they still hardly touched the gorgeous food and instead stuck to their dry roasted peanuts and pickled onion Monster Munch.
The thing with football fans is, they don’t like change, and, for many a Premier League season, a lot of the punters, after a few swift jars in here, head off to the 24-hour Burger King.
Now, here’s the best part. They don’t go for their love of a bacon double cheeseburger – I mean, who does. They go for one reason, and one reason only; the guy who runs the night shift looks exactly like Manchester United’s Patrice Evra.
To be fair, you’ve got to agree, no? Looks like the Frenchman is picking up a few extra pennies after hours seen as the Red Devils are soon to shaft him with the arrival of Southampton’s Luke Shaw!
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