Manchester United

Spoof: The real reason behind Manchester United star’s absence?

The season is barely two months old, and already we have reached the point of the rumour mill going into overdrive.

After John Terry started the trend in 2010, rumours have continued season after season that have put a players’ mysterious absence down to sleeping with a team-mate’s or ex-team-mate’s missus.

It was Darren Bent last season, and now it’s the turn of Manchester United new boy Wilfried Zaha. But this year it is even bigger but we have to stress it is still a rumour at this stage…

Rumours suggest new Manchester United signing Wilfried Zaha has been getting to know his new manager a bit too well since his arrival from Crystal Palace – by auditioning to be his new son-in-law after falling for David Moyes’ daughter, Lauren. Incidentally, anyone who’s seen her will understand why.

The rumour doing the rounds on the Internet suggests Moyesie is far from happy with the young ex-Crystal Palace winger, which may go some way towards his absence this season. Zaha has only featured in the Community Shield victory over Wigan Athletic and hasn’t featured ever since!

It all makes perfect sense now…

Ashley Young, Antonio Valencia and Nani have all been awful this season, and yet Zaha hasn’t had a look in.

Why could that be?

Has he been sleeping with the boss’ daughter? Punters are keeping a close eye on future mutterings.

zahacaughtinbedwithmoyesdaughter

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