Get yourself a pint and some cheese and onion Walkers, pull up a stool and let me take you on a journey, through the halls of dripping referees blood at Old Trafford, the tear stained offices of Anfield down to the asylum near Stamford Bridge, popping in on the dwarves at the Emirates and through the revolving door at White Hart Lane on the way because this weeks transfer rumours from the Transfer Tavern, have been belters…
My favourite rumour this week from the TT concerns Liverpool skipper Steven Gerrard. Guess who’s going to make a bid in January? Go on… I bet you can’t guess can you? Read here to find out… It’s no wonder Jamie Carragher’s praying. If Gerrard goes they won’t need prayers, but miracles.
Another hot topic was the story of Manchester United’s never-ending quest for a replacement for Edwin Van Der Sar, when the pointy Dutch number one decides he’s had enough and retires. Well according to our spies around Europe, United may well be close to getting their man. So if you see Ben Foster weeping in a quiet corner of Old Trafford, you will know why.
It’s not been the best season so far for Everton. David Moyes and his bulbous eyes have frightened their way into the top six in recent seasons, but the blues have suffered this season. So much so that Moyes is hoping chairman Bill Kenwright can produce a hit West End show or thirty to be able to afford a move for this chap from the Primera Liga.
Talking about the Primera Liga, Real Madrid have been making polite enquiries, there’s a first, about a certain Premier League defender and whether his club would be interested in a certain Dirk Van Nostrilguy in part-exchange. Sadly for Paul Whitehouse, it isn’t Plymouth Argyle. Green Armay!
Harry’s got big plans for the transfer window. Not only is there this mega-swap deal beeing mooted in several reliable sources. But there’s also rumours that struggling West Ham could be interested in a struggling Spurs defender and let us not forget of course, the fall out from the fall out with a certain England international who has taken a mighty fall from grace since coming to White Hart Lane.
Carlo Ancelotti is definitely not buying anyone in the transfer window. No matter what anyone says. It’s all lies he’ll tell you. Lies and nonsense. So stories like this, which make a great deal of sense given the African Cup of Nations coming up and Chelsea’s impending transfer ban, must be the talk of madmen, mustn’t they?
At the Emirates meanwhile, Arsene Wenger is about to break out the clogs, wax an Edam (that isn’t a euphemism) and open a special shop where you can buy lots of amusing cigarettes and cakes that make you feel a bit oojamafeely. The reason? Well there’s this little story from earlier in the week and the news he is about to sue the Dutch FA for Robin Van Persie’s injury. Schmoking! For sure!
Lastly this week, from Edam to a man whose face resembles melted cheese. Sunderland boss Steve Bruce is a busy man in the North East at the moment. He’s reportedly leading the chase for one of the areas finest soccer talents in many years. A talent so precocious that Real Madrid were reportedly keen too.
What has caught your eye this week? Or you heard any rumours that we’ve missed, let us know below and remember to keep checking the Football Transfer tavern hourly for all the latest football news, views and gossip.