Premier League

The Monday Moaner

Before I get into my rant let me make something clear, I love football. It’s footballers that I can’t stand.

The recent allegations in the papers that Wayne Rooney cheated on his pregnant wife with a prostitute is just another incident in a long and never ending cycle of footballers being stupid. These blokes have it all, and it’s still not enough. What’s even more laughable is that Rooney is hardly a male model. His wife Coleen isn’t the most stunning wag but he’s still punching way above his weight. Like if John Merrick was married to Cindy Crawford.

Peter Crouch is another one. He actually really disappointed rather than angered me. Crouch seemed such an unlikely Lothario. Allegations claimed that he paid a nineteen year old prostitute £800 for a sex session in Madrid just days after being on holiday in Sardinia with his fiancée. And again, like Rooney, was punching way above his weight with Abbey Clancy. Like if a beanpole was engaged to Claudia Schiffer.

Ashley Cole is grade-A garbage. Ever since that contract wrangle at Arsenal where he claimed £50,000 a week ‘wasn’t enough’ I think the footballing public took a dislike to him. But in his quest to become the country’s most despised man he really outdid himself cheating on Cheryl Cole.

His sheer stupidity is mind boggling. His wife was arguably the most attractive woman on Earth. What he should have realised was she was also becoming a national treasure through her role on X Factor. The woman he cheated with wasn’t even a stunner. Blokes couldn’t believe he’d cheat on a ten, and woman couldn’t believe he’d do it to lovely Cheryl. Then he has the cheek to blame his mother-in-law for the marriage falling apart. C U Next Tuesday.

And finally…John Terry. Cheating on your wife with a close friend’s missus behind his back. Surely the ultimate betrayal? The aftermath of the whole sordid affair with Wayne Bridge’s former partner was the most sickening for me. First he tried to get a gagging order on the media to save his skin (and his massive deals with sponsors).

Then we hear he got Vanessa Perroncel pregnant within months of their ordeal and had an abortion arranged for her. Classy. I feel sorry for Bridge. Not only was he betrayed by his recently former partner and his best friend but he missed probably his last World Cup because of it. If John Terry had any decency about him he would have stepped down from the World Cup squad so Bridge could have gone. But Terry’s not a decent bloke, he’s an arsehole.

Rant over. Until next Monday.

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