Chelsea

The Premier League’s Top 10 ‘Simulators’

Every season, there is controversy. Whether it is from a typically blinkered view of the referee, or obscene chanting from some idiotic sections of the crowd.

One of the major gripes that nearly all fans can agree on however, is the cheating from certain players that can mean the difference between a win, or a draw.

Some cheating is purely accidental, and is therefore only slightly ranted upon by fans.

On the other hand though, there are certain players who are repeat offenders, drawing the ire of fans and pundits alike, some seem to think they are playing rugby, while others are clearly auditioning for the 2016 Olympics diving team. Here are the ten worst in the Premier League.

  • Ashley Young – Manchester United

One of Englands best talents, the winger was signed for Manchester United last season to play an instrumental part in their attempts to retain their league title. His excellent displays however, were marred by his constant attempts to show theatre producers how you are meant to fall as if being shot in the back. His dive against Aston Villa last year a particular display in what has almost become a montage of theatrics from Young.

  • Joey Barton – QPR

Does being an absolute moron, someone who deliberately stops the flow of play by attempting to snap everyone in half count as cheating? Normally not so much, but Barton makes a great exception, his constant displays at trying to break down opposition players through deliberately mistimed challenges, and disgusting on the pitch displays, make him one of the worst cheats in my estimation, and just one of many reasons why he was shipped to France.

  • Danny Welbeck – Manchester United

Probably the newest addition to the list, Welbeck may be considered one of Englands brightest young talents, but he is quickly gaining a reputation amongst officials and fans alike for his pathetic diving. His incredible double twist somersault with a strawberry dip dive against lowly Wigan just another addition to what is a slowly growing list.

  • Charlie Adam – Stoke

If I am including Barton on this list, it seems only fair to throw Adam on it as well. Here is a player who has an eye for a killer pass…and that’s it, oh and his diving and atrocious tackling that could probably snap Chuck Norris in half. There is probably a reason why Gareth Bale should consider wearing medieval leg gauntlets when going up against the Scot.

  • Steven Gerrard – Liverpool

A man who once stated that he hates divers, the Liverpool legend isn’t one to turn down a good simulated tumble himself. His theatrical acts that border the level of hypocrisy tend to sully the name of one of England’s greatest players. Arsenal, and Bolton fans over the years won’t forget Stevie G’s blatant simulations to bolster Liverpool’s chances. (Judging by the way they’re playing this season, he probably needs to do it more.)

  • Didier Drogba – Formerly Chelsea

One of the best strikers to ever grace the Premier League, Drogba had power, stamina, a great eye for goal, and a fantastic ability to produce a medal worthy dive. While his theatrics diminished slightly as the years went on, the Ivorian never lost his reputation as one of the Premier Leagues worst divers. How any ref could think someone of his size drops so easily I’ll never know.

  • Fernando Torres – Chelsea

Taking the mantle from Drogba, not only as the leading forward at Stamford Bridge, but also as the leading diver for Chelsea. His incredible ability to be knocked over from a light breeze at both Liverpool, and Chelsea have left a sour taste in the mouth of many.

  • Gareth Bale – Tottenham

Any form of diving, somersaulting, or triple back flip with a head spin may be excusable for when Bale ever comes up against Charlie Adam again. Unfortunately, his penchant for falling over from the most minimal of contact from an opposing player has left him with the reputation as one of the Premier Leagues most common divers.

  • John Terry – Chelsea

He may not be so much of a diver, but Terry is a cheat. (On and off the pitch) His constant play-acting around opposing players, as well as his rather common desire to take a player of the ball in the most violent way possible, leaves him as one of the Premier Leagues worst offenders.

  • Luis Suarez – Liverpool

Where would a list of cheats be without this one. Hated by nearly an entire country, whether that be Ghana or England I’ll leave for you to decide, Suarez is one of the worst cheats to ever grace the football world. He leaves an impression that an SAS team is attempting to snipe him every five minutes, his provocative approach to opposing players (Hello Evra) leaves much to be desired, and the worst part is, he seems to get worse every year. Such theatrical displays take away the undoubted talent the Uruguay international possesses.

Who was missed out? Do you agree with this list?

Like what the TT have on offer? Sign up for more notifications!
To Top