Do Not Sell My Personal Information
  1. Home
  2. Arsenal

THE Top 5 Thickest Premiership Players. Ever.

Now I think its safe to say that professional footballers in general aren’t regarded as the most intelligent bunch, but some of them take this stereotype to a whole new level. Here’s my list of the famous five who it appears even tying their shoe laces of a Saturday afternoon will have them asking for a diagram and instructions.

  Where else could we start a list of Premiership’s most intellectually challenged than the Italian who’s been a source of constant amusement ever since he arrived on these shores. On the pitch Balotelli blurs the line between maverick genius and idiocy, but off it there’s little doubt that he won’t be a contender on the next series of mastermind.

Proof of his stupidity is easily found but my two favourite examples would be the wonderfully comic clip of him struggling to put his bib on and the firework display inside his house that resulted in a visit from the fire brigade.

 After being kicked in the face earlier this season Frimpong joked that he had a “metal face” (Source: Metro) but it appears its not just his face but also his brain that may be rather denser than other peoples.

As if constantly referring to himself as “Dench” in a misjudged attempt at humour didn’t show Frimpong’s limited mental capacity enough on Saturday morning he took things to another level.

During an appearance on Sky Soccer AM Frimpong felt this was the perfect opportunity to create speculation surrounding his sexuality with the comment, “I’m soft with the ladies, and hard with the men” in response to some of his teammates suggesting that his hard man persona was an act. A classic example of a footballer failing to engage his brain before his mouth.

Diet pills, need I say more. A 6 month ban and a fine of 6 weeks wages have been the cost of Toure senior’s stupidity so far. Whether Toure was daft enough to take his wife’s diet pills by accident or simply daft enough to believe this would be an acceptable explanation for taking a banned substance is a point of debate, what can’t be debated is the idiocy of the action.

While the Manchester team may be rich in cash, their certainly not in brain cells.

Who can forget the toilet seat incident of 2007. Despite earning a reported £30,000 a week at the time Johnson and his accomplice Millwall’s Ben Way were arrested for stealing an array of bathroom fittings from B & Q, baffling staff and the police in equal measure (Check out The Guardian‘s report of events if you need reminding). Maybe he just forgot to pay…

 While there’s nothing amusing about Suarez’s actions in his clashes with Evra, the Uruguayan certainly revealed his thickness. The fact that Suarez’s own defense centred on his ignorance empathises this point perfectly. While his refusal to shake the Frenchman’s hand and the shameful statements that followed  demonstrate that his lack of intellect won’t even allow him to understand his wrong-doing.

Follow me!  Jon_Daniels1


To Top

Article title: THE Top 5 Thickest Premiership Players. Ever.

Please leave feedback to help us improve the site: