With the flurry of the final day in place it will be a slightly sad to have no transfer window any more. Obviously the rumour mill will not cease to churn out potential moves but during the time of an open transfer window we have the added joy of occasionally reading about a transfer rumour so stupid it could have been written by Mitt Romney.
So here are 5 transfer rumours from this summer that are as stupid as Italian champions Juventus buying Nicklas …. Oh hang on.
Micah Richards to Real Madrid:
Remember July? We were all caught up in Olympic fever and the weather was at least warmish. So warm in fact that the heat must have got to someone at the Daily Star as they actually thought Micah Richards was about to join Real Madrid for £20million. This is the player that was over looked by Roy Hodgson for the England team at the Euros for not being disciplined enough. I felt that was a bit harsh to be honest but what Roy wanted to do was his choice.
Either way, with Coentrao, Marcelo, Arbeloa and even Ramos all able to play at right back and have done at international level for some years, adding Richards to that mix would have been like adding piccalilli to your fish and chips.
Wayne Rooney to Barcelona:
After the ordeal of the ‘transfer request’ two years ago everyone in football agreed that a Wayne Rooney transfer story had had it’s day. Not according to Tony ‘Tosh’ Farrell the coach of Rooney during his junior days at Everton. In a story on the caughtoffside website Rooney is “going to want to challenge himself” according to Tosh and when asked where he would be doing challenging himself Farrell replied “Personally, I think he’s going to move on to Barcelona or Real Madrid”.
With the England striker’s form pretty up and down only someone with some serious Man United blinkers actually believes that Rooney would command a starting place in either line up. Probably a decent squad player but is about as likely as Juventus coming in for Rooney. Although there has been rumours about Rooney and the Old Lady before.
Rickie Lambert to Blackburn:
The former Macclesfield Town striker has had a stunning career since joining the Saints. Scoring goals in every division and he showed he can do it in the Premier League too with a great finish versus Manchester City. So why on earth he would be interested in a move to Blackburn Rovers I don’t know.
The Daily Mail however thought they had an inside scoop only last weekend, they were wrong. Lambert is at a club with a good manager, great fan base and modern stadium. If he decided to swap that for a club with very few fans, a bunch of idiotic owners and a manager who cares more about being liked than getting promoted he’d need his head examined.
Although to sweeten the deal Blackburn were going to offer David Goodwillie in exchange, wonder how many shirts they’d sell?
Marouane Chamakh to Tottenham:
AVB is already being criticised at Spurs, which is ridiculous as he at least deserves a fighting chance to make his mark at White Hart Lane. If this transfer was to ever be more than a joke then a protest by anyone who see’s logic in football would have been involved at Tottenham. The Mirror however reported in mid August that a deal was imminent for the Moroccan striker.
Apparently Chamakh’s wages were one of the obstacles in the way of the transfer, along with a potential lynching by Spurs fans if the deal ever happened, a loan deal was apparently more likely. It makes you wonder about humans as a species doesn’t it?
Chicharito to Arsenal:
During the whirlwind RVP saga our trusty and reliable friends the Mirror reported that as a part of the deal Javier ‘Little Pea’ Hernandez was due to go the opposite way. This is one of those deals that would be laughed at because of the love for the club the player has.
Yes I know players tend to be easy to persuade as long as you have the money but when Ryan Giggs went to visit the Mexican just before United signed the 9 year old looking striker, he broke down into tears he was that happy. I very much then doubt that he would have been happy to act as a make weight in a deal for a new striker.