Football players would like to think they’re trendsetters. It’s true that young children do look up to them as idols due to their achievements in the footballing world but any adult can see that the style footballers tend to have often seems to be cringeworthy – something that’s been a pattern throughout history. In particular, footballers often tend to have ridiculous hairstyles that make them look like complete idiots. I will now attempt to count down the worst 10 offenders of the heinous crime of bad haircuts.
10. Christian Ziege
The German can boast an impressive club career with the likes of Bayern Munich, AC Milan, Liverpool and Tottenham amongst his former employers. His hairstyles were less impressive though and this Mohawk made him look like a cross between a hard man and an idiot.
9. Abel Xavier
I’m not sure what it is about journeyman Abel Xavier’s hair that’s so horrible. The fact that it looks terrible no matter how he styles it tells me that it’s that extremely bright bleached blonde look which doesn’t suit his skin tone which makes him look like his head is actually a light.
8. Marouane Fellaini
Everton fans love Fellaini’s massive bouncing barnet but doesn’t everyone else think he just looks like an idiot? Not a perm but a massive afro, it makes the big Belgian look even bigger and stands out like a wolf amongst sheep. Still, it’s impossible to imagine him without it.
7. Jason Lee
Lee’s career is nowadays most noted for his ridiculous hairstyle – likened to a pineapple on his head – which led to chants and songs which annoyed the big man. Become a stock figure on the show “Fantasy Football” as a result of it and it’s easy to see why. A haircut could’ve helped his respectability…
6. Carlos Valderrama
Most probably the most recognisable Colombian footballer of all time – Valderrama’s hairstyle was an absolutely huge blonde perm which completely contrasted with his jet black moustache. How the hair piled up so high on Valderrama is impossible to say.
5. Alexi Lalas
There’s something terrifying about a big American with long ginger hair and an alice band and a beard that looked like it belonged to a member of ZZTop. Not that they’d have it. The oddest thing of all is how normal Lalas looks these days – sharp contrast!
4. Roberto Baggio
One of the greatest Italian players ever, Baggio had the distinction of scoring a lot of goals for a number of clubs and was hailed as one of the best players in the world. His hairstyle meanwhile battled to prove its worth as one of the worst in the world; Baggio somehow managed to combine a mullet, a perm and a bedraggled long ponytail to make him look like a bit of a plonker really.
3. Rodrigo Palacio
The only explanation for this hairstyle is that the Argentinean striker decided he was actually a dog who was missing it’s tail and thus he decided to grow a replacement. This was presumably meant to be a ponytail. It isn’t.
One of the best strikers of all time but Ronaldo is also up there with the best of them when it comes to terrible hair styles. After years of sensible haircuts and shaved heads the Brazilian played for his country in a World Cup looking like his haircut had been interrupted halfway through. I’d like to think that Ronaldo intended to finish this haircut off as soon as he had the chance but was kept too busy. Sadly it seems he thought it was actually a good style.
1. Taribo West
And topping this list is the Nigerian Taribo West who somehow decided that it was a good idea to outdo his many stupid hairstyles by growing what appeared to be upward pigtails on his head and then shaving the rest of his hair off. Oh yes, and they were green. West only succeeded in looking like he belonged in an insane asylum with this hairstyle which has to go down as the worst hairstyle ever to grace a football pitch.
Commiserations to those footballers whose terrible barnets failed to make the grade on this list, there are a large number of them out there. Hopefully footballers will finally start to see sense, realise they don’t need a ridiculous gimmick and will take style ideas from sensible folk rather than their favourite cartoons. It would save us fans a lot of disbelief and shaking of our heads!
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