Tottenham

April Fool – Alan Hutton

There have been allegations made about Alan Hutton that for legal reasons we won’t be perpetuating here. But suffice to say, a man that duffs up his own father in broad daylight is unquestionably experiencing what medical experts would refer to as a chemical imbalance.

And so the Hun goes on. Not content with being loaned out to Sunderland, he’s been waxing lyrical to t’Sunderland Echo.

“Darren has done brilliantly, so more fool Spurs for letting him go, Sunderland are getting the best out of Darren because he is playing regularly here. There’s another guy who, for whatever reason, didn’t have the best of times at Tottenham but he’s left there, come here to play week-in and week-out and is scoring lots of goals.”

The footballing supremo continued…

“Darren’s just as good as either of them (Defoe and Crouch). His goalcoring ability and pace is unbelievable – he’s got everything a striker needs. Darren is just as good as the likes of Defoe, so I don’t see why he shouldn’t go to the World Cup. I’d take him if I was the England manager, definitely.”

Said Scotsman Hutton. I suggest we Ebay this tiresome sweaty, asap.

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