We’ve all been subject to some god awful street theatre in our time haven’t we? Two grubby students with nothing better to do than try to reinact Waiting for Godot via the medium of mime and milk bottle crates. Worse still are those idiots who mime they are stuck in an invisible box and think that their quirky gestures amount to something resembling art. Then there’s the ones who just stand their like statues, dressed as statues (novel or what?), a bit like Ness in that episode of Gavin and Stacey.
Have you also noticed how this form of expressionism has translated into football celebrations? Ah! You see? You thought all this running to the crowd, punching corner flags, sliding on your knees and kissing the badge were all empty gestures? No more. Did you know Peter Crouch’s famous “robot” dance was actually a celebration of the work of H.R.Giger? You didn’t? Well you do now.
Here’s exhibit one, former Liverpool, Chelsea and current Sunderland star Bolo Zenden at his former club Marseille. Remarkably he scores a goal, a pretty neat one too, before he decides to give us his street theatre artistic version of the 2009-2010 season Portsmouth are going to endure in the Premiership;
I almost missed it the first time because I was still momentarily stunned by Zenden scoring a goal.