Do you remember Frank Skinner and David Baddiel’s little segment on their fantasy football show called “Old Football was sh*te?” Well thankfully, we have our latter day contenders to that crown as anyone who witnessed the spectacularly inept Egypt v Cameroon quarter final at the African Cup of Nations can testify. Fans of quality football will probably need a stiff drink before they watch this little package of highlights which include.
1. Cameroon’s fantastic opener, scored direct from the corner via the head of a defender who doesn’t seem to want to clear it. Not to mention the positioning of the keeper which was so bad he may as well have been sat in the stands.
2. Egypt’s equaliser : A fantastic 30 yard effort which Cameroon Keeper Kameni stumbles towards before limply palming the ball into the back of the net. Tottenham fans, you have had one lucky escape.
3. Egypt’s second goal : After the game finishes 1-1 after 90 minutes, we go into extra time. Two minutes in former Real Madrid and Newcastle ace Geremi decides he’s had enough and slots a lovely ball through to the Egyptian centre forward to put them in front. For some reason this has been omitted from the video. I can only assume on the grounds of mental cruelty.
4. Egypt’s third ‘goal’ : Obviously upset at not being in on the cretinous performances thus far, the referee and his assistants get involved by awarding Egypt a third when from a free kick Carlos ‘flailing hands’ Kameni once again flaps haplessly at the ball, this time diverting it onto the joint of bar and post and out to safety. Only the linesman thinks it’s a goal. So gives it and the referee takes his word.
Who needs TV replays Sepp?
Can you imagine what might have happened if Egypt had selected Mido and Zaki too? This would have been a game that had everything.
Bar skill, obviously.