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Joe Cole’s Carly Cole is nothing but a survivor. Having been torn from her home with nothing but her husbands millions to support her news has reached us that not only been foraging in Liverpool One, but pimped out her four month old baby girl to a modeling agency. Has anyone got UNICEF’s Meals On Wheels’ number?

Just as I was getting withdrawal symptoms from Mrs Lineker’s vacuous daytime TV appearances a good swift hit of mental methadone arrived in the form of Peter Crouch’s Abigail Clancy on This Morning.

Her incite, wit and unique style that could probably only be replicated by taking a girl out of a northern council estate and showering her in thousands of pounds …illuminated my screen. I’m so glad she didn’t jack it in after her glittering appearances on James Corden’s show.

And it’s been all action stations too for the broadcasting Goliath that is Frank Lampard’s Christine Bleakley.

Not content with managing to elbow her way into being Adrian Chiles’ co-host on the inspirationally entitled, ‘Daybreak’ show, word is Christine is the talking stalking horse to replace Dermot O’Leary on X Factor.

Mind you, if her telly career did ever go mammary glands up, she can always get work as a human colour chart for Cupronol.

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Article title: WAGB*tch!

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