Responding to the news that top Dutch manager Shteve McClown had updated his FaceBerk status from ‘Shingle’ to ‘In A Relationshionship’ , our man at the heart of the citadel, Div Tevlin who told us, ‘I weren’t pretty’.
‘The Chairmen went bonkers, mate. ‘E woz slamming his fists on the table and rantin’ about indigenous bubble blowers and allsorts . It woz like a scene outta that movie Downfall. The MacClown news certainly made this Iron very Cross.’
Ridding this historic club of a decent man like Zola is one solution to combat success, but will it be enough?
Who will be the new manager at Upton Park? Front runners at this stage include Jim Davidson and housewife’s favourite, Danny Dyer.
You can read more about West Ham’s final solution to their hopes and ever fading dreams at www.BigNewPitch.co.uk.